For Freedom

“For freedom Christ has set us free…” says Galatians 5:1.

An interesting phrase: “for freedom.”

On the surface, it’s repetitive. If we rearrange the words of the verse, it could read,

“Christ has set us free for freedom.”

That’s a little anticlimactic, isn’t it? Of course we have freedom when we’re set free.

There’s got to be more than that.

For freedom He’s set me free?

Not for success?

Or peace?

Or happiness?

Not even for righteousness or obedience?

What good is freedom once I’ve already been freed?

Something inside us isn’t content with mere freedom. Of course we long for it- from the time we’re babies crawling out of our cribs to age 65 getting out of our jobs through retirement. But in order to experience real freedom we feel that we cannot just be freed from something; we must be freed for something as well. If we’re freed from a relationship, it’s so we can be single and look for other options. If we’re freed from work, it’s so we can either find a new job or retire. When we’re freed, we look to do the things we’ve been held back from doing.

And part of that is good. We are called to constantly strive toward excellence, working “heartily as for the Lord, and not for man,” no matter our phase of life. It’s founded in the American mindset that we must always be moving, progressing, advancing, and becoming more successful. To stop doing these things would be laziness, complacency, passivity.

So what does Paul mean when he declares that for freedom Christ has set us free? Surely he’s left something out.

“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” (Galatians 5:1)

Ah. So there is something more. But maybe not exactly what we were expecting. Paul urges the Galatians to not only remember their freedom, but to stand firm in it. Not moving away from it or forgetting about it. If they do, Paul warns, they are in danger of falling back into bondage.

The bondage of which Paul speaks is the requirements of the Jewish Law, to which the Galatians were previously subject. For some reason, even after hearing the gospel of Christ and thus being liberated from the constraints of Jewish rules and regulations, they’re still having a hard time remaining in that freedom.

Crazy, right? Why would anyone ever want to be enslaved once they’ve already been set free?

But it seems the Galatians’ backslide toward slavery isn’t an isolated case.

Turn with me, if you will, to Numbers 13:25- 14:45.

This is a long passage, so I’ll try to summarize it concisely:

God, through Moses, has led Israel out of Egypt. He has freed them from slavery and rescued them from Pharaoh’s army using a variety of miracles, from a series of plagues to the parting of the Red Sea. Now, after following God through the wilderness, the people have finally arrived at Canaan: the Promised Land. The Lord commands Moses to send spies into the land to make sure it’s safe for the people to enter. At the end of forty days the spies return to the people of Israel. They report that the land is indeed good, flowing “with milk and honey.” (13:27) They even bring back a piece of fruit from the land.

“However,” the spies warn, “the people who dwell in the land are strong, and the cities are fortified and very large.”

Caleb, a fellow spy and faithful servant of the Lord, objects, insisting that the people “are well able to overcome it.” (13:30)

But Israel will have nothing of it. They lash out in anger against Moses, Aaron and the Lord, saying, “Would that we had died in the land of Egypt! Or would that we had died in this wilderness! Why is the Lord bringing us into this land, to fall by the sword? ... Would it not be better for us to go back to Egypt?” (14:1-3)

Pause.

Let’s backtrack a little bit. So Israel, who was oppressed and subjected to slavery under the Egyptians for years and years and years, who was led out of Egypt by the Creator of the universe by way of their own personal Red Sea walkway, who has been given manna from heaven and has been daily provided for and led by “a pillar of smoke by day and a pillar of fire by night,” i.e. God Himself (Ex. 13:21), wants to go back?

After everything the Lord has done for them, all that they’ve been through, they want to go back into slavery? There they are, on the banks of the Jordan River, beholding the Land they’ve been waiting for for years. They’ve even seen for themselves the fruit this fertile land produces- something they probably haven’t seen since Egypt- and they would rather go back through the wilderness, only to end up in the wicked hands of the Egyptians?

How did they even think they were going to find their way back? Did they not notice that a PILLAR OF FIRE had been leading them ever since they left Egypt? Did they think they could make it on their own?

And what were they afraid of? Did they actually doubt that the God who parted the Red Sea for them couldn’t defeat their enemies? Did they really think He wasn’t faithful or strong enough to keep His promises?

To answer simply,

I guess so.

To summarize the conclusion of this story: the people of Israel, after hearing of God’s anger toward their disbelief, decide they will go to the Promised Land and strike down the enemies, just to prove that they do, in fact, trust the Lord.

But Moses warns them, “Do not go up, for the Lord is not among you, lest you be struck down among your enemies.” (14:42) The ever-stubborn Israelites, however, do not listen:
“They presumed to go up to the heights of the hill country, although neither the ark of the covenant of the Lord nor Moses departed out of the camp. Then the Amalekites and the Canaanites who lived in that hill country came down and defeated them and pursued them, even to Hormah.” (14:44-45)

Huh.

Isn’t that interesting?

The people ended up doing what the Lord had wanted them to do. They go to defeat the enemies in Canaan, just as the Lord commanded them to do in the first place. So why is it that He isn’t with them when they do?

Because they’ve forgotten.

They’ve forgotten about freedom.

The Israelites have freedom in the Lord to conquer their enemies without fear of failure. But while looking ahead in anxiety, they forget to look back. They fail to remember all the Lord has done. They ignore the miracles, the provision, and the liberty march on which God has faithfully led them. They instead live in fear.

First, they fear their enemies. So much so that they long to go back to the old enemy (Egypt) and be enslaved under them.

And secondly, they fear God. Not in the respectful, reverent way, but in the I’m-scared-of-you kind of way.

Both fears, we see, lead to death. The first fear would have led the Israelites on a trek back to Egypt that probably would have killed them. And if the journey didn’t bring death, the vengeful hands of the Egyptians would. The second, as the story tells us, brings defeat. Since they are acting out of fear and not out of faith in the Lord, they do not have His help. And without His help, they are easily overcome. So it’s apparent that, in both cases of fear, destruction is the fate that awaits them.

Maybe that’s why Paul urges us to remember, “For freedom Christ has set you free…”
Because for some reason, like the stubborn, disobedient Israelites, we forget about our freedom. We forget that Christ has broken our chains, both to unrighteousness and righteousness.

Like the Israelites, when we forget about our security in the Lord and what He’s done for us, we fall back into one of the two fears:

1) Disobedience: Running away from the Promised Land and back to Egypt (i.e. going back to our former, sinful ways of life.) or

2) Legalism: Trying to defeat our obstacles through our own efforts (i.e. being more, trying harder, doing better, all in hopes of earning His approval.)

And as it is with Israel, so it is with us.

Both these errs lead to slavery:

Slavery to ourselves, to the opinions of others, to success, to school, to hooking up, to alcohol, to drugs, to food, to exercise, to the numbers on a scale, to jealousy, to anger, to gossip,

To all the things we think will give us freedom but, in reality, lead to death:

Death of confidence, of satisfaction, of contentment, of wholeness, of love, of joy, of intimacy, of our God-given potential.  

Slavery brings death to the person God calls us to be.

Jesus came that we may have life. He died so that we may live through Him. His death and resurrection means that we are no longer slaves to the sin that used to constrain us or the “goodness” that used to drive us.

When we look to the Promised Land and the Enemy looks too strong for us, we no longer have to run back to the past. While the old life might look easier than taking up our cross and following Christ, its outcome isn’t worth it. The satisfaction, the good things found in the “land flowing with milk and honey” is well worth the ensuing battle. And this is a battle Christ, our mighty warrior, promises not only to fight for us, but to claim victory over.

Which is why fighting a battle alone is just as dangerous as not fighting it at all. With our own strength, we cannot defeat the Enemy. We can’t overcome temptation or earn God’s approval by just doing the right things. Going to church, being nice to people, even not drinking or not partying or not having sex, are not going to help us win any battles or make God love us more. Just as we cannot find satisfaction in being “bad,” we will also find no satisfaction in simply being “good.”

That’s why Paul has to remind us that it’s for freedom we’ve been set free! The simple knowledge of freedom leads to the love and joyful obedience that the Lord longs for. Because, once again, Jesus is concerned with our hearts, not just what we do or don’t do. And he wants our hearts to be free! “It is finished!” were the words of Jesus’ dying breath. The battle has been won, the Enemy is defeated, the Promised Land is ours to enter! We don’t have to turn to the world when things get tough, and we don’t have to try to be better when we mess up. Jesus has made it possible that in both cases, we can have perfect, unconditional freedom in Him. We have been called to freedom... because it is ours!

Who Needs the Gospel?

Easy answer: EVERYONE!

But is that how we live? Do we share it as though we believe it? Or have we decided that some need it more than others? Are we compelled by Christ's love or controlled by our own insecurities?

Here are some wise words from my brother, Justin, on some of our natural shortcomings when proclaiming the gospel. He has incredible insight into Jesus’ teachings, both in interpretation and application, so you will do well to read what he has to say. Get ready to be challenged!

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In the past few months I have seen myself really grow in my willingness to share my faith. I have participated in prison ministry, international student ministry, and have even witnessed to the occasional homeless person. While I feel I am being obedient to Christ’s command by ministering to the poor, the alien and the imprisoned, I can’t help but notice all these people fit into the same category. They all are on a lower socio-economic rung than me. Given this fact it is easy for me to approach them because I do not fear their judgment or rejection. Some may see this position as bigoted or at least small minded. I think it’s just human nature. But just because it may come natural to me to think this way does not mean I should not war against it with every fiber of my being.

I recently heard a sermon by Matt Chandler where he candidly ran down a list of things that drove him crazy in regards to his congregation. One of them was, and I am paraphrasing here, why they cannot get to the place where they minister to those people who are closest to them in their lives, i.e. friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc. When I heard him say this my soul was pricked and I was immediately convicted of my pattern of similar behavior. I cannot think of the last time, if ever, I told one of my friends, neighbors, or co-workers about Christ. I’ve invited a few people to church and I’ve made it known that I am a Christian. However, in the buckle of the Bible belt that’s not really saying much. What does it say about my faith if I am not willing to share it with those I am close to and enjoy spending time with the most? Moreover, what does it say about the lack of transformation in my heart and mind that I am only willing to share my faith with those whose rejection I do not fear? If I have the best news on earth and if I believe everyone could benefit from hearing it why wouldn’t I tell everyone about it? The question really is do I believe I have the best news on earth or is it only the best news for those who have little to no hope of finding fulfillment anywhere else? I feel I may have reduced the gospel to a “last resort” for those who have little hope of accumulating the wealth or achieving the notoriety I have the opportunity to accumulate and achieve. It’s like I am saying “If you can’t be like me then you can settle for being like Christ.” How crazy, if not outright blasphemous, is that!?

I am not ashamed of my position in life. I do not bemoan the fact that I have been blessed to live in the greatest country at the greatest time in the history of mankind, and I do not wallow in self-pity whining about the money with which God has chosen to bless my family. I believe doing so would be just as much of an affront to God as it would to whine about having too little. I do believe, however, that just as being poor can cause one to doubt God’s presence, being rich can drive one to doubt the need for Him altogether. If I bemoan anything it is that no matter how much I have there will always be a way for me to marginalize God’s presence in my life.

As I have been mulling over these thoughts for the past few weeks the Holy Spirit has led me back to Christ in the scriptures. I have been inspired to go back and look at the instances where Christ, a peasant carpenter from an economically depressed region, boldly proclaimed the good news to everyone no matter their socio-economic status. Now I know some of you are going to say, “Yeah, but he was God!” which is true. However, one of the greatest miracles regarding Christ is that while he was fully God He was also fully man, meaning He had all the feelings, urges, and temptations you and I have every day. We know from the scene in the garden that Christ had fear. We know he ate, slept, and drank just like you and I, and we know He grieved like you and I grieve. It only stands to reason that there were times where He had to overcome a fear of rejection and/or persecution too. So what was it that made Christ soldier on as if He had nothing to lose? The Gospel of course, and because He truly believed the good news He preached He truly believed He had nothing to lose and could only gain by sharing it.

In John 3 we see Jesus having a conversation with Nicodemus, a member of the Jewish religious ruling class, where they are discussing salvation and specifically the concept of being “born again”. This has always been an interesting passage to me as it contains the simplest plainspoken synopsis of the gospel in verses 16 and 17, and at the same time muddies the spiritual waters with this concept of being “born again.” In a nutshell Jesus is trying to get Nicodemus to understand that in order to be saved new life has to be established. In his current life he lived in response to the flesh. Fleshly desires, urges and inclinations guided his actions. Yes, he could probably curb those desires for short periods of time, but ultimately he would return to them. In his new life he would live in response to the spirit. The spirit of God would guide his actions, and those actions, by and large, would all bring glory to God. Jesus goes on to explain the only way to become born of the spirit is to believe in the Son of God and the power of His sacrifice.

My point here is not really to break down the theological points of this passage. My point is more to display the fact that Jesus spoke plainly no matter His audience, never tickling their ears, and always speaking truth. The fact of the matter is Nicodemus had power and influence within the culture. There is a lot he could have said or done to inhibit the ministry of Jesus on earth. Some might say it would have been wise for Jesus to just forget about Nicodemus and move on to those that were “really lost”.  The fact of the matter is Nicodemus was as lost as anyone at this point in his life, even though he probably had significant power and resources. For some reason we often think only those who are physically impoverished are the ones who need Jesus. (Just as an aside, my great fear is that this mindset is born out of the belief that the main benefit to following Jesus is that He improves your physical circumstances.) When are we going to understand that there are worse things than being poor, like Hell?!! Jesus understood this, which is why He spoke so plainly and clearly to all men, including Nicodemus, regarding the condemned status of their hearts despite their societal position.

While we don’t get to see whether or not Nicodemus chose to accept Christ, in Luke 18 we do get to see how another man high in the social ranks chose to respond to Jesus’ call. This young man approaches Jesus looking to find out the one thing he must do to be saved. After listening to His request and knowing his heart Jesus tells him he must sell all he owns and give it to the poor. The young man leaves distraught at the thought of giving up all he has.

What I love about this passage is Jesus gets right to the heart of the matter. He doesn’t congratulate him for apparently keeping the commandments mentioned in verse 20. Instead he tells him, a man who has everything, materially and spiritually, he is lacking! This is absolutely amazing! I guarantee you this man had never been told by anyone that he did not have enough to get whatever he wanted. Yet when it came to achieving eternal life he was found lacking. I often wonder if he ever came around and understood what Jesus was trying to tell Him.

Why didn’t Jesus placate this guy? Why not string Him along for a while and have Him financially support His ministry? I bet this guy could have gotten Jesus tickets to some great concerts which would have provided some great opportunities for one on one “ministry”! Jesus never concerned himself with these types of things which is why he could speak so freely to people like this rich young ruler.

Men like Nicodemus and the rich young ruler truly had nothing to offer Him that would in any way effect his ministry, and this idea is at the crux of our modern dilemma. We believe that we have more to lose by losing the affection, approval, and esteem of our friends, family, and coworkers than we have to gain by being obedient to the call of God. If we are to be like Christ we must, like Christ, boldly proclaim the truth God has implanted within our hearts. For some reason I think boldness has gotten a bad rap and somewhere along the line became synonymous with harshness. To me boldness is synonymous with conviction. I would not say Jesus spoke to either of these men harshly, but I would say He spoke with clear conviction.

In speaking with conviction He did not couch His teaching as a theory, like it was one of many other acceptable theories. I think this is another way we get around really proclaiming the Gospel boldly to those closest to us.  We say things like “This is what I believe.” Or “I’m not judging, but this is how I’ve been taught.” I’ve caught myself doing this and it drives me crazy! The Gospel is not just what we believe, it is the truth and the only truth available to anyone anywhere. It is the absolute only hope for any man, woman, or child on earth no matter where they live, when they live or how they live.

I am tired. I am worn out from my own cowardice and inability to overcome my fears when it comes to sharing the Gospel with those I claim to care about most. Christ was willing to go to the cross to show His love, and I won’t even cross the street! I’d go to Africa or New Guinea tomorrow, but ask me to go next door and suddenly my schedule is booked. My prayer as I write this is that I may speak with the same conviction that Christ spoke with, and that I would allow the Spirit of God to take over and speak plainly through me as it did through Christ in these instances.

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Isn’t that convicting? I can’t say I had thought about this until Justin brought it to my attention. It goes back to pride, just like all sin does. How arrogant am I to think that, because of someone's 'inferior' socioeconomic or social status, they need something from me. It’s not that I don't have anything to offer, but who’s to say their physical neediness is necessarily a sign of their spiritual neediness? Because I have an education, money from my parents, and good friends and family, should my compassion only be for those who don’t have these things?   

Thinking back, nearly every time I’ve shared the gospel it’s been with either someone younger than me, poorer than me, or more lost-looking than me (i.e. tattoos, drinking, smoking… just being honest here). And the sad thing is, when I’ve done so, I’ve given myself a little pat on the back, thinking how much better off that person is because of what I’ve done for them. How condescending and shallow of me! Of course, now knowing the good news, they are better off, but my motivation is wrong. I shared with them because I saw them as impressionable either because of their youth or the visible affects of sin in their life. Not solely because of their eternal salvation. 

But for some reason, when I see people similar to myself, I assume they know Truth. And if they don’t, they at least have the means by which to attain it. They don’t need me to share the gospel with them. They’ll figure it out. I presume upon their outward appearance, thinking that material wealth and health probably signify a redeemed heart. Ha! Saying that out loud sheds light on how ridiculous it is. We’ve forgotten that it’s the rich man who has less of a chance of being saved than a camel trying to pass through the eye of a needle (Mark 10:25). 

Intimidation and insecurities aside, my desperation for ALL people to know Christ should compel me to share the gospel with anyone and everyone. From the well-dressed businesswoman to the child in rags on the side of the road, my desire for their salvation should be unbiased. For Christ, as we see in Justin’s Biblical examples, is no respecter of persons, but rather longs for all His Father’s children to be saved.

It seems impossible to see people how Christ saw them. He went past the outward appearance, straight to the heart. Let’s pray that the Spirit would allow us to see people through our Savior’s eyes. Let us renew our minds by reviewing his character and truth, and thus train ourselves to focus not on the outward appearance, but on the eternal state of one’s soul. Let us set aside our pride and obey God’s great commission by loving our neighbor- our bosses, teachers, parents, brothers and sisters, friends, coworkers, leaders and mentors. 'He who has ears to hear, let him hear!' (Matt. 11:15)

Judge Not

“Don’t judge me.”

We’ve all heard that one.

Sometimes said in jest, but mostly said in seriousness masked by an air of sarcasm. 

Where did this phrase come from? And how has it wormed its way into our society? And why, I must ask, has it most successfully invaded the daily vocabularies of college women, even Christian women?

Is it insecurity? Are we so unsure about our actions that we need a go-to verbal defense? If we’re confident enough to make a decision and follow through with it, why do we need to announce that others’ opinions don’t- in fact, can’t- matter? Are we so above reproach that our choices- even our bad ones- are excluded from all rebuke?

It’s a get-out-of-jail-free card. It’s pleading the “5^th” when put on trial. It’s saying,  “Yes, I’m going to call myself a Christian, but I would prefer you not hold me to the standards of Christianity. I’m going to live how I want to live, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.”

But is this the attitude Christ requires of us? Is this what He means when He commands us to “judge not?”

I don’t think so. As Christians, we are part of the body of Christ, and are therefore accountable to the other members therein. It’s not about appeasing the opinion of others. It’s not about trying harder or being better. It’s about using the power of the Holy Spirit to submit to the authority of Christ in all areas of our lives.

In John 14:15 Jesus says, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.”

Therefore, if we love Him, yet are consistently breaking His commandments, we leave ourselves open to correction. It is simply not right to call ourselves followers of Christ yet not be expected to live as such.

Of course, people make mistakes- lots and lots and lots of mistakes. We all do. I probably make more mistakes than anyone.

And of course, judging people, the Bible clearly states, is wrong. I am not denying that. I also acknowledge that there are judgmental Christians out there, more than we would like to admit. We are all tempted to be judgmental, to look down upon others and thus think of ourselves ‘more highly than we ought.’ (Rom 12:3)

A couple years ago, a friend and I had a conversation about drunkenness. While I argued that getting drunk is not in accordance to Christ’s teaching, she retorted with Romans 8:1,“There is . . . no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” In other words, “you can’t judge me.”

And she was right. I can’t judge her, only God can. But what she wrongly assumed was that those who claim to be Christians can do whatever they want without consequences, accountability, or a need for repentance. She forgot, as we all do at times, Romans 6:1, which asks,

“Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it?”

If we claim to be followers of Christ, that means we have died to our old selves and now walk in “newness of life” with Him. As I’ve previously stated, this does not mean a life of perfection. It means that by God’s grace, we “put on the new self, created after the likeness of God, in true righteousness and holiness.” (Eph. 4:24) This sanctification- this “new life”- requires submitting to God’s Word and to the loving rebuke of fellow believers. (See Matt. 18:15-17, Luke 17:3, 2 Thess. 3:14-15, 1 Tim. 5:20-21, 2 Tim. 4:1-2, Titus 2:15, Heb. 10:24-25)

But enough of my opinion. Let’s look to the true Authority on this matter- none other than Jesus Himself. 

In Matthew 7:1, Jesus warns,

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” (ESV) (See also Romans 2:1, Romans 14:10)

Jesus doesn’t really need help with my interpretation. He’s pretty clear: pronouncing someone as guilty or wrong for their actions, their words, their appearance, etc. is not acceptable; it’s simply not our place. He points out that doing so is hypocritical: how can we seek to fix another’s problems when we haven’t even taken care of our own?

But the footnotes in my handy-dandy study Bible point out something I find interesting:

“Jesus does not forbid all evaluation or even judgment of others, for ultimately the one who feels grieved and humbled over his own sin can help remove the “speck” from others. What Jesus does rule out is pride that views oneself as better than others.”

Ah, back to the crux of all matters. The heart. Once again, it’s not so much the actions with which Jesus is concerned, but rather our motives behind them. He’s not excluding all admonition, instruction, or exhortation of those around us, but he is demanding a prerequisite of honest humility before doing so.

I think the life of the apostle Paul best verifies this. In 1 Timothy 1, Paul outlines his previous offenses: “I was a blasphemer, prosecutor, and insolent opponent.” As the self-proclaimed “worst” of sinners, Paul exudes the humility required of all who instruct and admonish the body of Christ. He teaches that we, too, after examining our own hearts, have the responsibility of rebuking our Christian brothers and sisters (see above references)…Notice I said Christian. Without digressing too much, I want to point out that Christians are not called to admonish non-Christians. We cannot expect non-Christians to act like Christians, or to hold themselves to the same standard that we do. It's not our job to point out their problems. That is pride. That is forgetting the grace by which we’ve been saved. That is the “judgment” Jesus warns us against.  (1 Cor. 5:12-13)

What it comes down to is this: first and foremost, Jesus has called us to love- first the Lord, then our neighbor. Love should be the motivation behind all the Christian says and does. According to 1 Corinthians 13, Christ-like love is patient and kind, it does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant or rude, it doesn’t insist on its own way, it isn’t irritable or resentful, it doesn’t rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all, believes all, hopes all, and endures all. This is the mark of a true believer. Criticism of others does not fall under God’s definition of love, but neither does tolerance. Our position as a Christian does not give us the right of condemnation, but rather it frees us to love, encourage, and “spur each other on” for the sake of the body of Christ.

If we truly desire to be like Jesus, we will welcome the humble rebuke of others. If we long to reach the “measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ,” we will receive the admonition of our brothers and sisters with gratitude. If we want to build up the body of Christ, we will not shy away from loving exhortation. If our aim is to carry out Jesus’ greatest commandment, we will gladly submit to and carry out His instruction.

No one is perfect. I am far from it. No blog I ever write will be a reflection of my own perfection, but rather the perfection of my Savior. I praise Him knowing that His power is perfected in our weakness and that His success shines through our failures. I rejoice knowing that we don’t have to put our defenses up. We don’t have to justify our actions to others. If we are living for Christ, even our mistakes are used for good. There’s no need to pridefully announce, “don’t judge me” to potential critics. We are free to humbly listen and respond to the admonition of fellow believers, and we can thus be equipped to help others remove the “speck” out of their own eye. Let us pray to be stripped of defensiveness, fear of criticism, or any propensity toward prideful judgment, and instead be filled with the confidence, love, humility, and boldness that reflects Christ.

“Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into Him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.” –Ephesians 4:15-16

Waiting For My Boaz (Mistakes Christian Girls Make)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=My92oE9RwRE

I’m sure most of you have seen this. And if not, you’ve lived it. This is us. Sad, but true. If you’re a Christian girl reading this, you know; I need not explain. So today, I want to relate to you as one stereotypical coffee-and-the-Word-Christian-girl to another.

Last week we talked about the less-than-fulfilling promises of the “Call Me, Maybe” lifestyle. We examined what it looks like to hang our hopes on the fleeting pleasure of guy attention, and how we can only find true satisfaction in the Author of romance Himself.

Maybe some of you read the last post and thought to yourself, “Duh! I already knew that. Now if I can only get (insert name of friend here) to read this…” Most of you, I bet, agreed with the truth I shared but did not see it as applicable to your own life. I know this, because if I were reading such a post, I would have made a list of all the girls I know that need to read it, not recognizing that I need to take a look at my own heart first.

“But Allie,” you may say, “I don’t hook up with guys. I don’t need guy attention to make me happy. I’m a Christian, and Christians don’t do those things. I’ve read all the dating books, I’ve listened to all the dating sermons, and I’ve done all the dating Bible studies.”

And to you, dear reader, I say,

Perfect!

You’ve come to just the right place.

No matter how “Christian” we may be, we all harbor in our hearts the same desire: to be wanted and loved. Not just today or tomorrow, but forever. Some try to fulfill this desire in obviously dangerous ways: having sex in order to validate your self-worth, getting drunk to make yourself “more fun” or “braver” in your pursuit of a guy, or going from one fling to another in search of lasting love and acceptance. But these are not the only ways to ineffectively fill that void.

Other not-so-obvious (but equally treacherous) ways are as follows:

Reading all the books on Christian dating.

Talking to every Christian woman you know about the topic of dating.

Following all the Christian rules on dating.  

And lastly, knowing all the Christian vocabulary concerning dating.

Yep.

You heard me.

You can be just as unfruitful doing the “right” things as you can in doing the wrong things.

I know that sounds crazy, but let me explain.

I’m reading a spectacular book by Tim Keller called Prodigal God, based on the parable in Luke 15 about the prodigal son, which I’m going to assume most of you know. (If not, read the story- it’s a great one!) In the first couple chapters, Keller highlights a truth that made me cringe with conviction. He points out that it is not only the rebellious, wayward son that is lost, but also the elder, obedient son. He explores the idea that the older son, resentful upon his younger brother’s return, is in need of just as much grace as the son who squandered his father’s estate. When the older son complains of not having his own feast thrown for him, he reveals the selfishness of his heart. You see, the older son believes that because he has been obedient to his father all these years, he has earned the right to a celebration. Which, in turn, proves that it’s not his father that the older son loves, but rather his father’s stuff. The son had not served him merely for the sake of service, but for what he would get out of it. Keller uses this analysis to prove that we can be push God away just as much through our righteousness- following all the rules, praying all the right prayers, saying all the right things, etc- as we can by our unrighteousness.

Ouch.

So what am I getting at here? That doesn’t seem like it has much to do with dating.

In the words of Elisabeth Elliot, “No one is pure apart from the righteousness of Christ.” In other words: we- Christian girls- need to hear the same truth as our non-Christian friends do. We can turn up our nose at the girls who are partying and hooking up every weekend, but we are no better than them by simply “being good.”

Because, as we’ve mentioned before, we must get to the heart of the matter in order for truth to be revealed. Satan wants nothing more than to keep us on the surface of things. He would rather distract us by a million outside factors than allow us to look into the depths of our hearts. For he knows that, there in the depths, is Christ. And where Christ is, the Enemy doesn’t stand a chance.

Satan uses good things- even godly things- to draw us away from intimacy with our Savior. He replaces the Creator with things created, and thus robs us of the lasting joy that God’s Presence offers. He uses this strategy to do what he always does: make us question 1) God’s goodness and 2) our identity in Christ. We are not the first victims of this crafty scheme. No, we have many a predecessor, one of them being Jesus Himself. If we look at Matthew 4, we see that Satan tempts Jesus not with bad things, but with good and even truthful things. He uses bread, God’s own Word, and the glory of the earth in attempts to pull Jesus’ attention away from His Father. Jesus, however, remembers the Lord’s promises and rebukes the Enemy by saying, “Be gone, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God and Him only you shall serve.’” (Matt. 4:1-11)

We would be wise to follow in Jesus’ footsteps. He is not enchanted by Satan’s offers, for his eyes are set on a Prize far greater than anything this life contains. Not even the wonders of the world could shake His confidence in the Lord.

In the same way, we must be careful to remember that while this world offers some great things, even Christ-centered things, they are nothing in comparison to Christ Himself. We can get all the advice, read all the literature, follow all the rules we want to, but until we learn to rest in the foundational truths of God’s goodness and our identity in Him, the do’s and don’t’s will get us nowhere. We must remember who it was Jesus most condemned- not the prostitutes, the tax collectors, or the wayward sons and daughters. No, Jesus’ ministry was against the righteous, the religious, the rule followers, and the ‘good’ elder sons.

So, what of the rules? Are we to do away with all of them? No, I don’t think so. For even Jesus Himself said that He came not to abolish the law, but to fulfill it. Rules and guidelines are good, helpful tools that can steer us in a godly direction. Psalm 19:7-11 says,

“The law of the Lord is perfect,

reviving the soul;

the testimony of the Lord is sure,

making wise the simple;

the precepts of the Lord are right,

rejoicing the heart;

the commandment of the Lord is pure,

enlightening the eyes,

the fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever;

the rules of the Lord are true,

and righteous altogether.

More to be desired are they than gold,

even much fine gold;

sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb.

Moreover by them is your servant warned;

in keeping them there is great reward.”  

As we look at these verses, we see that the rules are not merely statutes to be kept; they serve as healing and rejuvenation of the heart. They are reminders of the goodness of the Lord and the confidence we can have in Him. Notice the passage never says, “Do what God says and you’ll get what you want”; His rules are not simply a roadmap to happiness. These truths promise something far greater: wisdom, joy, enlightenment, and satisfaction of the soul. In keeping them, there is great reward. This reward isn’t the perfect dating relationship or any other thing we may want in this life, but rather the Lord Himself. When God tells us that by delighting in Him we will get the desires of our heart, He doesn’t mean we can manipulate Him through obedience. Like the elder brother in Luke 15, our attempts to earn God’s “stuff” through “goodness” simply won’t work. Psalm 51:16-17 emphasizes this point,

“For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it…

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;

A broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.”

It’s not our good deeds that our Father cares about. He places far more importance on our willingness to serve Him for who He is, not for what He can give us.

With this in mind, I don’t believe the Lord wants us to be crippled under the pressure of the romanticized Christian “pursuit.” For freedom He has set us free, not that we should be enslaved again- to sinfulness or goodness (Gal. 5:1). I don’t think He desires that we be dictated by a list of dating do’s and don’t’s that will inevitably leave us weary and frustrated. Jesus promises that His yoke will be easy and His burden light. Why would He then ask us to carry the weight of legalism? Why would He then expect us to meet an impossibly high standard that He’s already met for us? Why would He beg us to be still and know that He is God if He would rather us strive for perfection? Rather, He desires that we simply to rest in the knowledge of Him, knowing that He will guide us and help us, as in fact He “has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness.” (2 Peter 1:3)

So now I am led to the same conclusion with which I finished my last post. Relying on our own relationship know-how just won’t work, no matter how strong our faith may be. Books and sermons and wise counsel are wonderful things, as long as they continually point us back to Christ.  Knowledge is beneficial, but we “elder sons” must remember that we will never be able to abandon the basics of Christianity in exchange for more “mature” truths. Those of us waiting for our “Boaz” need just as much instruction and grace as those seeking fulfillment from the hope that he’ll “call me, maybe.” Without a deep and intimate relationship with our Savior, both the righteous and the unrighteous are exactly where they don’t want to be- alone. 

 “And I, when I came to you, brothers and sisters, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified.” 1 Corinthians 2:1-2

Call Me . . . Maybe? (Dating Part I)

Great piece of music. Seriously. What it lacks in substance, it definitely makes up for catchiness. It was just a couple months ago when my friend and I were running and she said, “Okay. You’re probably going to hate this. And you’re probably going to make fun of me, but this is my favorite song right now.” She let me borrow her headphones, and, guess what? I loved it. And I have ever since. When they say, “the song’s gone viral,” they’re not kidding. It is a virus- in that I didn’t want it, but as soon as I was exposed to it I couldn’t get rid of it. And here I am, two months later, the lyrics still playing in my head. (Thanks Marth:) So what better to do than write a blog about it?

As per usual, I’m here to uncover some truths behind a part of our culture that’s in need of closer inspection.

I’m sure Miss Carly Rae had no intention of writing a song that had any real meaning. Except that she had met this really cute guy and she really hoped that he would perhaps, possibly, maybe call her. Little did she know that by releasing this soon-to-be top charter, she would be unleashing the desperate cry of our generations’ heart. My purpose here isn’t to bash Carly Rae or her catchy little tune. I just want to point out that this song- along with many others- tells a sad tale of where our generation stands in terms of dating, sex, love, and the roles of guys and girls in relationships.

I know the subject of dating is way overdone. If you ask me, there are way too many books that give us the formula for the “perfect” Christian relationship. There are books telling us we should casually date lots of people just to see what we like, and there are books saying we should stop dating altogether and wait until we feel God is guiding us to that perfect beacon of light that we hastily deem as “the one.” And it’s ironic, when you think about it, that there’s so much literature and ‘wisdom’ out there telling us what to do and how to do it, yet we don’t seem to be fully satisfied by any one approach. (Similarly ironic is the fact that there has been an increasingly high number of marriage books released in the past decade, yet the divorce rate is at an all time high. Which begs the question, which came first- the chicken or the egg? But that is another blog for another day…)

The point I’m trying to make is, relationship formulas haven’t solved our problem. We’re still unsatisfied. If we’re single, we’re in search of the one who will make us happy. He will make us feel complete, and hey, if not, at least we got a free meal out of it! (kidding… kind of) We look at our friends with boyfriends and think how lucky they are. They don’t know how good they have it! We wallow in self-pity until one of our more confident friends comes along and says, “Hey! Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Take matters into your own hands. Want a guy? Go out there and get one!”

So we go out that night. The hot guy walks in. The words of our confident friend and the groundbreaking lyricist Carly Rae begin playing across our minds. We walk up to him, and, though maybe with a bit more nuance, we say, “Hey. I just met you. And this is crazy. But here’s my number, so call me, maybe?”

And it works! We get a hook up or maybe even a free dinner out of it. We’ve proven that we are wanted.  We’re worth someone’s time, even if just for a night.

So… what’s the matter with this? What’s so wrong with a little guy attention?

But the problem isn’t the guy attention. It’s not even what we may or may not have done with the guy. It’s about the state of our hearts. Yes, it only lasted a night. Yes, it was just a physical act. But we’re not just physical beings. We have souls that last much longer than a one-night stand. Though our actions have temporary implications here on earth, the motivations behind these actions echo in eternity.

It may sound like I’m making something out of nothing. All college kids do this, some of you may say. It’s just a phase we go through, and then we get serious later. If this makes me happy now, what else matters? Why do I have to give up having fun just to follow some rule?

First of all, I want you to know that I’ve been here. I’ve said farewell to commitment and embraced the fleeting pleasure found in off- and-on guy attention. I thought I would feel wanted and loved, when, in reality, I ended up exactly where I didn’t want to be- alone.

I, too, saw this is “not a big deal.” Until I realized what I was doing. My happiness was dependent on whether or not he would “call me, maybe.” I was chasing after a dream of being loved and settling for much less. I was exchanging seemingly good things for the better things that God had in store for me. I thought I was just living life, when really I was wasting it. I was giving myself to things and people that cared nothing about me, and damaging my heart in the process.

So… I know. I know how hard it is. I know that being alone sucks. I know how good it feels to be appreciated by a guy. I’ve felt the high of having his attention and affection, and I’ve also felt the low of having my heart unnecessarily broken. And it’s sad to think that that’s what I thought life was. All the books and movies told me that that was perfectly fine. Dating was a game, and my heart was simply a piece that would be inevitably hurt in the process. I believed I would recover seamlessly from my mistakes. I honestly didn’t think there would be any consequences.

How craftily the devil plays with our minds and hearts! He blinds us to the repercussions of our actions and tells us that the ‘now’ is worth it.

So, can I just tell you a little secret life has taught me?

IT’S NOT.

In all things- not just dating- exchanging fleeting pleasure for lasting satisfaction will lead us to sorrow. I wish I could give some set of rules to follow to ensure perfect relationship bliss, but I can’t. In fact, no one can. There’s only one foolproof answer I’ve found, and it seems to be the answer to all the issues we’ve addressed in this blog thus far:

Jesus.

The One who holds everything together, the One who leads, guides, and helps us.

Yes, there are other things at play here, like the appropriate roles for girls and guys in a healthy relationship, but I want to go deep into the heart of the matter. And, as it turns out, it’s Him.

Again.

The Enemy hates when we identify the heart of a matter. He wants to keep us as far away from it as possible, so we don’t bring to light the things that truly need to be uncovered. In the case of relationships, he disguises our need for a Savior as a simple desire to get the approval of a guy. The reason why so many of us see hooking up and fickle relationships as “not that big of a deal” is because Satan’s telling us it’s not. He’s doing what he always does, allowing us to question God’s character and doubt our identity in Christ.

If God was really good, he wouldn’t let you feel so alone.

And since you feel alone, it’s your job to change that. Take charge of your life- don’t leave it up to Him or to anybody else. Do what feels right, and you’ll find happiness.

Sound familiar? These are the lies that enslave us to the vicious cycle of failed flings and unpredictable relationships. The lie that holds on to the weak hope that he’ll “call me . . . maybe.”

But, as we’ve examined before, if the Enemy cares about something, our loving Father cares about it tremendously more. If Satan has a lie to tell, God has a truth that will powerfully defeat it.

In me only will you feel complete; only I can promise never to leave you or forsake you. (Colossians 2:10, Deuteronomy 31:6)

You can rest in this truth, knowing I have your best interest at heart. Pursuing other things will only lead to more dissatisfaction; I am the sole source of lasting joy and contentment. Therefore put all your hope in Me, for I am the only One who can hold your heart without breaking it. (Psalm 16:4, Psalm 16:1, Psalm 103:1-5, Philippians 4:7)

With these truths in mind, it’s clear that our relationship with guys isn’t what’s most important here. What matters is how we relate to the One who created relationships. God is the Author of romance and the Orchestrator of every lasting love story. Love was his idea, not ours. He is the master of intimacy, not us. How then can we expect to have meaningful, satisfying relationships without the guidance of Him who originated them?

C.S. Lewis summarizes this point well,

“If you are right with Him you will inevitably be right with all your fellow-creatures, just as if all the spokes of a wheel are fitted rightly into the hub and the rim they are bound to be in the right positions to one another.” (Mere Christianity)

So, try as we might, relying on our own relationship tactics just won’t work. The only satisfaction we will find is that found in surrender- giving our lives (not just our dating lives) to the Savior who frees us from trying to make things work through our own efforts. We don’t have to derive our confidence from the hope that maybe he’ll call. Our assurance can lie deeper than that, on the unconditional grace and love of Jesus Christ. We don’t have to wonder whether or not He’s going to accept us. He has, He does, and He will. There are no “maybe’s” with Him. Yes, He is calling. The only question is: will you answer?

(Stay tuned for part II... coming soon! Also, title and premise of this blog accredited to the very smart and talented J.B. Murphy)

The "Hunger" Games

It’s that time of year again! The time we’ve all been waiting for…

Bikini season!!!

Wait what?

You haven’t been looking forward to this?

You mean you haven’t been counting down the days until you get to show off the hot bod you’ve been working on all semester?

You’re saying you didn’t spend all winter trying on your swimsuit just for fun? Just to look in the mirror and say, “Wow- I look GOOD”??

Yeah, me neither.

The truth is, we as Christian girls have a love-hate relationship with our bodies. We love our bodies because we know that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. We find rest in the fact that our Creator did not mean to make us any differently. He didn’t make a mistake and then decide to settle with a less-than-perfect finished product. He didn’t mean to make me taller, thinner, or more athletic. He made us lovingly, carefully, and without mistake. In fact, when God finished making us He said, “Yes! This is EXACTLY what I was going for.” This, in some deep part of our minds, we know.

Yet, as fallen daughters of Eve, we hate our bodies. We hate the texture of our hair all the way down to the size of our feet. We look in the mirror every day and find something that can be changed, minimized, or improved. Each of us has insecurities that consume our thoughts. We believe that if this “problem” is fixed, we’ll be happier. If we looked differently, then surely we would be satisfied with our appearance. But this, my friends, is a mode of deception straight from the Father of Lies himself. Satan would have us question these two things when thinking about our bodies:

1)   God is not really good. If He were good, He would not have made you this way. He would have given you clearer skin, a faster metabolism, and a natural desire to exercise. He wouldn’t have made it this hard. He would have made it easier for you to like how you look. He made other girls taller, skinnier, and prettier than you. If he really loved you, why would he hold these things back from you? And,

2)    Your identity rests in the image you see in the mirror. Your worth lies in what others think of you. Since God is, in fact, holding out on you, your only option is improve yourself. Want to look like her? Try harder. Then more people will like you. You’ll find success and satisfaction, and, finally, you’ll be happy with who you are.

Ladies, without even realizing it, these are the lies we let ourselves believe day after day! Things haven’t changed much since the Garden of Eden. Satan is tempting us with the same deceit with which he tempted Eve- Is God really good? Don’t you want what He’s keeping from you? He makes us doubt, strive, and stumble, and it’s not until we’ve hit rock bottom that we see his deception for what it is. It’s a vicious, seemingly inescapable cycle, and the Enemy has mastered how to both trap and keep us there. (See 2 Corinthians 11:3)

But God (what a hope-filled interjection!), like always, has something different to say. In fact, God has a lot to say about what we think about our bodies, and even what we put into them. For so long, I saw the attempt to lose weight and look good as merely a worldly, physical struggle. I saw it as selfish, and, therefore, had no intention of taking it to the Lord. I figured that He only cared about the “big” stuff. My desire to like my appearance had nothing to do with my spiritual life. This burden, I told myself, I can handle on my own.

Until I couldn’t. My relationship with food and my body has been- like every girl’s- a broken one. I’ve over-eaten for comfort, when I’m feeling stressed, worried, or upset. I’ve eaten too much because I’m bored, or just because I didn’t have enough discipline to stop. I’ve also gone days eating barely anything- taking a few bites at meals just so people wouldn’t ask me about it. I’ve had weeks where I would work out three times a day and hope that my friends would either not notice or ignore it. In both extremes, I was consumed with thoughts of food, and it became my idol- whether I was over-eating for comfort or under-eating for control. Satan convinced me in both cases that turning my battle with food over to Jesus just wouldn’t work. I could survive these “hunger games” alone. He told me that God didn’t care about such a trivial matter. He said that it’s my job to clean myself up, to mend my relationship with food and my body, and then present myself to the Lord. Jesus isn’t concerned with petty insecurities.

But like I said, God has something else to say about this. Because we know that if the Enemy cares about how we relate to food and our bodies, then our Father cares about it infinitely more. In response to Satan’s lies, the Lord said to me,

1)    My goodness is infinite. Furthermore, there is no good apart from Me, for I am the giver of all good things. I do not withhold this goodness from My children; it is theirs to have. From this goodness I crafted your form purposefully and flawlessly; I weaved you together with my own unwavering hands. I made you unique; each part of you is special to me. Because of this, I love you- every inch of you- as you are right now. (Psalm 100:5, Psalm 16:1, James 1:17, Psalm 139, Isaiah 43:4)

2)    Your identity rests in Me. Your worth lies in how I perceive you. You have been covered in the righteousness of Christ, and therefore are unconditionally accepted by the One who created you. My approval of you is all that matters, and it will never diminish. I will not love you better when you become better. In fact, there is nothing you can do to make Me love you any more or any less. You will never find satisfaction until you rest in this truth. (2 Corinthians 5:17, Ephesians 4:20-24, Romans 8:35, 1 John 4:16, Psalm 46:10)

Is that a breath of fresh air, or what? When we exchange the darkness of Satan’s lies for the light of Jesus’ truth, we find relief beyond what we can comprehend. Praise the Lord!

But wait, you say you already know these things? You’re telling me you’re not cured from your problems with body image now? You’re still insecure? You still struggle with comparison and the temptation to use food for comfort or control? Well guess what?

Me too.

But I’m reading this great book by Lysa TerKeurst, that everyone should read, called Made to Crave.

           

 

The premise of the book is “Satisfying your deepest desire with God, not food.” When I picked it up, I honestly thought I could just use it as a tool to help other people. (How prideful, right?) I don’t have an eating problem, I thought. Until I realized that I do, actually.

I realized that this is a journey that I didn’t want to invite Jesus onto, because I thought He’d tell me that I just need to be content with my body and not concern myself with what I eat. But the truth is that Jesus does care about this! He wants me to be healthy, to eat well and to exercise more. He desires that I have a balanced relationship with food. He doesn’t want it to become my idol by eating it too much or not eating it enough, but He understands that it’s a central part of my life, and He does care about it.

Yes, He wants me to be content in who I am in Him, but He also wants me to be disciplined in how I take care of myself. When we channel the desire for self-improvement into the desire to glorify Christ, we see that this isn’t merely a selfish, worldly, or physical struggle. As our motives are increasingly centered on Him, we realize that this is a deep, spiritual battle that Satan can use to hinder us from making an impact for God’s Kingdom. The fact of the matter is, we can’t survive these “hunger games” alone! We need our Ever-Present Help, our Almighty Burden Bearer, our Refuge and our Sustenance, to fight this battle for us. Because He cares about our bodies. He cares about food. He cares about how we relate to these things. And we can’t overcome this struggle without Him! So, bikini season? Psh…  We’ve got better things to think about.

“Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers and sisters throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.”

                                                                                                            1 Peter 5:6-10